so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I could have mohawked her pubes.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
