We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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