I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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