I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
