Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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