Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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