tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
