i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
