found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
