I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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