Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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