Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
