i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
