office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
