remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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