question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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