Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Randomize
