just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
