i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
