Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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