weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
