It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
