Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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