You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
