even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
