I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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