Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
