i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
