man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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