She said her name was "party"
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
