oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
We have so much sex to catch up on
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
