I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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