heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
