Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
