Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
