Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Randomize
