Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
