is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I booty called her while she was in labor.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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