So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
