just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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