who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
