Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
