AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
