saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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