Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
