I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
