my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize