Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
