Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
