At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
