he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize