Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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