there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
