Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
